i am here waiting...


so i am here waiting...
wondering will i ever see the sun through all of this darkness and dispair...
how did my life grow into this empty shell of existance?
how do i remain in this state of unhappiness...
why is it so hard to leave...
uncertainty is eating me inside out...
my heart holds a million times it's own weight...
a heavy burden is the cost of loving and living...
my life has made me into this shell...
void of anything happiness is...
nothing but a tortured soul...
time goes on... years go by... i remain even when i know it is time to go...
love no longer exists or is not a factor anymore...
circumstances have caused an underlying fear to engulf my perception...
i am no longer the woman i once was...
i carry so much emotional baggage, i am no longer able to love...
will this pain that has harvested and taken up residence in my soul ever part from me?
will life ever seem a small portion better than before?
will i ever see the sun?
i am here waiting...

sitting in my room, thinking about our life...
how and why we have come to this point i know not for sure...
3 a.m. and you are not home...
what is the reason for remaining with someone you no longer care for...
how hard is it to care enough to let it go?
so many questions... no responses...
none of this lies inside of a textbook...
we blindly said those vows openly in front of our loved ones...
how nieve was i to even fathom that you would respect those few words over such a long span of time...
i knew you were not true before i made that decision to say i do...
the thought of being a single mother did not appeal to me...
then there was the deepest love i could not seem to shake...
things are spiraling out of control and our future got lost in this storm...
we no longer exist as husband and wife...
we only exist...
time stand still as i pour onto this page my heart and soul...
full of tanted nights and blindfolded days as i go about my ritual called life...
you are enjoying ever aspect of yours...
selfishly keeping me desperate, wanting, lonely, and mistreated...
what caused you to hate me enough to be the sole reason for my slow demise of spirit?
it must be time to turn off the lights and close the door to this union...
someone else will love me better...
i have to say goodnight to us... to the old me... and most importantly...
to you.

Kem
Say



Baby say
What’s on your mind
What’s on your mind
I’ve been here all morning waitin’
For your answer I’m waitin’
I’ve been sober long enough to remember
How good love is
How sweet your love is
Notwithstanding my crime
Say you remember how good love can be baby
Say you’ll never lose your faith in me baby yeah
You fall to pieces
And I destroy what we have
Is this how our story will end baby
I can’t live for tomorrow
And I surrender today
With all of its heartache
All it’s pain
Baby baby love of mine
Say you remember how good love can be baby
Say you’ll never lose your faith in me baby yeah
Say you’ll never leave me here in the dark oh baby
Say don’t walk away
Cause’ I don’t wanna stay here
Don’t wanna stay here
Girl say what’s on your mind
Don’t walk away
Leave me hangin’ on baby
Say you’ll never leave me hear
In the dark baby baby baby
Please send me love
I wanna hear what you have to say baby
Say what’s on your mind yeah baby
Say that I still hold my place in your heart baby
Say what’s on your mind baby
Say what’s on your mind baby
Say (adlib out)