please tell me i have awkened in a dream...
a nightmare even. how did i come to be married with 6 kids to a man who is selfish and controlling? the funny thing is, he does not realize how bad he has gotten. it's like watching a
wreck happen or even seeing something fall... slowly and not being able to control the force of gravity or speed of sound... dying to say stop... straining to get the words out... every inch of your soul longing to ignite into song and movement... fighting fate to win the final cut... trying to prevent what was already meant... but what? am i forever destined to be confined in a relationship filled with who's, what's, why's, when's, and where's? a bond frustrated with contempt but full of wonton desire and passion that can not be matched by another? i have asked over and over again and again to find the answer to my question... i stay because i truly love the man. his simple touch can demand my complete attention... his gaze can inhibit the regularity of my heart's rhythm... his scent makes my skin steam with desire... his lovemaking calms my demons and swells my body with fulfillment and enthralling pleasure... dayum!!!!

How?
I have been gone for a minute, but I am still here...
There is a new addition to my family... A 10LB baby boy...
He is beautiful... and some people say they have beautiful kids and they are only cute to them... but my kids are beautiful!!! I know that is very vain of me, but I put in work to have a nice looking buch o' children!!! Dayum that my baby is soooo cute... He is butter brown with curly black hair (not the newborn curls, the real "we-got-indian-in-our-family" curl, eskimo indian eyes with what my mother-in-law calls "the frowns", big-n-healthy weight, and the most gorgeous smile a baby could ever give you!!! He does not have a bad feature on him except for his big feet!!! His nicknames are Nustin, Fat-Fat, and Thumper...
He smiles a lot and laughs a lot. He also eats a lot. He loves to eat!!! But I won't be on Maury!!! 4-get that!!! He is a healthy size!!! I do love him very much. He is the last of my clan to be born so I relish these days, for they will be no more after him. He is mommie's baby!

My sister is still in TX. She and I have a big birthday planned this summer. We will celebrate the right way... Watch out 4 them twinz...
we will either be in the Atl, or on some island. I hjave not decided yet...
But what ever we do, It's gone be FA SHO'!!!
JE YA'LL!!!!